Part 4. The Gates of
Dis and Da'ath -
the long, long, way home
Eleusis; Live; La luna piena viene soltanto una volta al mese (the full moon comes only once a month); In Vain; Fool; 1; 16/8/97; Moments in Love; Lothopagi; Mandala Parts 1 & 2; Da'ath
I stand considering
the gateways of Dis
and Da'ath
and something pushes me in
while I leave my consciousness
behind, to enter dark tunnels
of the Truths that hurt.
I hover over the earth
by a few inches
as the dry grass
brushes against my feet
and deeper
in the tunnel
I see through the dark
a face I know
speaking
words I know
and I grab the knife
and stab the face seven times
I feel the hate
I feel the fear
I feel the blood
ad I get visions
of a man
burning himself in a tree
a field in fire,
many faces,
some I know
dressed
in black
in the darkness
screams
I stab
and I'm being stabbed
I see people looking at me
I need to kill
I need to do it.
Help me!
Who the hell am I?
I need to know! I'm burning!
What is the meaning of it all?
*** *** ***
I see my Self.
I see the light at the end.
I will not tell you
"Live long."
I'll just say
"Live."
I live
in the vain
hope
of becoming
again
what I was
before.
When you've been hurt
so many times you
cannot feel the pain,
you can proudly say
that you are the fool
at the edge
of the precipice.
A no. 1
in a world
of 2s.
I'd like
to say
"This is the end of it all."
but I cannot
make head
or tail
of it.
I'm alone
Far away
sifting the sands
through my fingers
on the beach of my life,
searching for the
moments in love.
It seems so long ago
I know,
but they must be here.
Somewhere.
I can't find them
but I still remember.
So fast these passions,
so slow these moments in love.
Feed me,
feed me,
feed me the fruits of amnesia.
Give me the water
of Lethe to drink
Feed me
and let me forget
what I know;
let me eat the lotus fruit
let me forget where we're going to
let me forget all I know
feed my hungry soul
Part 1. Creation and Construction.
Drone of mantras
Shanti, Shanti,
swirling incense
Shanti, Shanti.
A circle drawn on the floor
in four parts split
and a map of Atmanja
drawn into it.
The plan of God -
MANDALA!
Part 2. Destruction and Dispersal
The doors of consciousness
are opened,
and the wind that blew
the kite away
swirls the mandala
all over the place,
the roads of Atmanja
collapsing into the Abyss.
In swirling spirals
the mandala is turned
till the paths are never seen again.
The plan of Ayn Soph-
MANDALA!
By setting the wheel in motion
the sleeping serpent will be
awakened,
pinging blue circles of light
to my brain.
After that there is the darkness.
And after that yet something else awaits us.
Some brief explanations due to you all...
Eleusis is the name
of a place in Greece in which secret rites of initiation took
place. Little is known about these rites due to forced secrecy by
those who took part in them. However there is reason to think
that it involved passing through a dark tunnel and re-emerging
into the light. I had, just before writing the poem, found my way
into a very dark tunnel, and there was a place where I felt all
the fears coming up to me. Similarly, in our lives, before we
start to progress, we must realise the fear around us and in us,
we must realise that we are capable of committing the greatest
evil, sins that would make Adolf Hitler look like a saint. Only
then can we start our path towards the "good life"
about which a lot has been spoken of by the religious and the
philosophical. Before we realise our inner light, we must face
our darker side.
Live! is pretty explanatory. Same thing with La luna piena.
In Vain; 1; 16/8/97 : when
I wrote these only God and me knew what I meant. Today only God
knows.
Fool : inspired by the Tarot card named
"The Fool", pictured to the right of the poem, showing
a young innocent boy, about to be initiated into the world, his
clothes the colours of youth. His initiation will throw him into
the Abyys, which in Kaballah (Jewish mystic system) is Da'ath, the hollow space dividing (or
uniting?) the divine world from the material world. Da'ath,
translated, is reason.
Moments
in Love : Title taken
from the famous hit by the Art of Noise, speaks about
the moments in love (clever way to avoid explanation, right? :) )
Lothopagi : The Lothopagi, or Lotus Eaters, were
a tribe of people featured in the Odyssey who used to
eat the lotus fruit and thus forget all the troubles. Only
problem was that it gave them amnesia, and thus they almost all
forgot their quest. We may not be ready to face reality, but that
means escaping our quest. The waters of Lethe are the water of a
river in the Greek underworld, which the deceased drank from and
forgot all their life.
Mandala
Parts 1 & 2 : This
is inspired by the Tibetan tradition of constructing a mandala (a
circle depicting the unity and structure of the cosmos), and then
destroying it.
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to the Self. The beginning of the New Dawning. The Last Memories
of Arcadia. The Beginning of Humanity.
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